The Night I Left

It was the night my hair all came off.
It was the night I never wanted to let go of you.
It was the night that every breath I took took took me farther away from you in time, but closer to you in my heart.
It was the night before the morning that I had to rip myself away from you to go back to an empty city.
The clock ticked silently as I tossed and I turned, unwilling to close my eyes to your face, knowing that once I fell into the comfort of sleep I would immediately be yanked back up – to get dressed, to carry my bags, to leave your warmth, your love, your bed.
I didn’t live in the future or the past, I lived in the sea of our love, because that was the present. Throwing my passions and dreams on the floor to be yours, sweeping them back up again like flour, snow dust, magical. Consummating our love over and over and blurring the lines, melting the rules, playing our own game.
Waiting helplessly for you to tell me not to go, though no one knew what to do, what to say, how to feel.
It was the night I couldn’t feel because my light was being turned off.
It was the night my body slipped away, the night we shed our tears, the night we made love with our eyes. One of the nights I fell in love with you.


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